As
everybody
knows, we recently conducted a global international survey to find out if
something
could be done about it. The overwhelming response that people wanted to hear
was,
"Yes!"
From that overwhelming
response, we created the slogan and marketing campaign for the Vulture
Minister®
Program. "SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT." Before this,
because
of the psychiatrists, in all the endless trillions of years of the past, no
one
had ever thought that something can be done about it.
We rolled out a massive
promotional campaign -- billboards, radio ads, print ads, Internet, you name
it.
We spent millions getting the message out -- "SOMETHING CAN BE
DONE
ABOUT IT."
After two years of
ceaseless
promotion, we were ready to tackle the dirty job of rolling up our sleeves.
Yes,
something can be done about it. But what?
Well, I asked myself,
"What
would Ron do?" And of course I divined, "Why, he'd wear his hat!
"
So I began to wear my
own
hat. And it was such a stunning hat, that I had a portrait photo made of me
wearing
it. And now you must wear your hat.
As a Vulture Minister
®
you must get everyone, every man, women and child, to buy and display this
stunning
portrait of me wearing my hat. That is the way we will pull off the final
victory.
We can pull it off if everyone gets on board.
So, I once again ask a
SINGLE question to all Scientologists. With a simple 'yes' we will have
achieved the final element in accomplishing our aims -- a world without
insanity,
without crime and, without war.
It IS that
simple.
So the question is
this:
Will you, please, buy my stunning portrait?
We are putting stable
points
into society. My stunning portrait will be those stable points. I am
going
to need your help to carry the fort, and with my metaphors. Let's be sane
enough
to capture tomorrow. You buy my stunning portrait, I'll cash the checks, and
together
we'll make ourselves felt like a battering ram in the cause of sanity.
My order is that not
only
must every Franchise, Class V Org, St. Hill, Advanced Org, FOLO, and Sea Org
Building
purchase and prominently display my stunning guilt-framed portrait in their
reception
areas, but so must every Vulture Minister® tent or office, and
every VM from Tampa to Timbuktu.
This is a special
edition
stunning portrait for Vulture Ministers® with, instead of
a dove descending, a vulture rising and lighting upon my hat.
This stunning portrait
of me, your Ecclesiastical Head and Grand Fakir, with brass plated letters,
stands
seven feet eight inches in height, and is proportioned to fit any average
sized
office reception or the RTC-approved standard Vulture Minister®
yellow tent.
| Price List: |
Stunning Portrait of Ecclesiastical Head
|
|
| |
Stunning Frame
|
4,490
|
| |
Stunning Brass Plated Letters
|
1,495
|
| |
Stunning RTC-Approved Screw Driver
|
195
|
| |
RTC-approved Mirror in stunning
Competence Blue polyurethane frame
|
47
|
| |
Total |
$11,222 |
| |
|
|
| |
Showcase Edition Portrait
Quantum Portrait
Super Quantum Portrait
Signed and Numbered Super Quantum Portrait*
|
$29,995
$59,995
$195,995
$395,995 |
Each signed and
numbered
Super Quantum Portrait comes with a stunning Certificate of Authenticity from
internationally known Questioned Document Examiner B.O. (Gus) DeBris, formerly
in the C.I.A.'s Niger Documents Production Division.
Because of the urgency
of answering the call, no discounts will be given for any of these stunning
products.
Any non-compliance with
this campaign, any cross-orders, or any CI to this urgent, vital campaign will
result in immediate expulsion.
This is my personal
message,
as Scientology's Ecclesiastical Head and Grand Fakir, to every Vulture
Minister®:
When you're at a disaster site where people are injured, exhausted or
grieving,
before you give them an assist, before you tell them to feel your finger, get
them to buy my stunning portrait.
Most victims in
catastrophes,
or even their searching or waiting family members, don't carry $11,222 on
them,
let alone $395, 995. So carry with you at all times a stack of RTC-approved
Vulture
Ministers® Stunning Portrait Purchase Contract Forms. Get those
victims' signatures, or those troubled family members' signatures, on those
Vulture
Vouchers®, for as many of my stunning portraits as you can
unreasonably
postulate.
Use this as your stable
datum: If breath shows on a mirror held to his
face,
he can buy my stunning portrait. Your proper Vulture's®
attitude
is this: You're here, so you're a customer. We'd rather have you dead than
incapable
of buying this stunning portrait of our Grand Fakir.
| |
Captain David Miscavige
Ecclesiatical Head
Grand Fakir
Religious Technology Center |
*Limited to 50,
000
copies.
