From: Barbara_Schwarz@myway.com (Still_lying_about_Marty)
Subject: Re: Expert Declaration of Gerry Armstrong, July
Date: 23 Jul 2004 13:46:33 -0700
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 20:46:33 +0000 (UTC)
Xref: news2.lightlink.com alt.religion.scientology:1722821
Gerry Armstrong <email@example.com> wrote in message news:<firstname.lastname@example.org>...
> Webbed with photographic evidence at:
> Declaration of Gerry Armstrong Re: Miracle Sighting
> I, Gerry Armstrong, declare:
> 1. I am over the age of eighteen and could competently testify about
> the facts herein if called upon to do so.
> 2. Sometime during or about the weekend of July 16-18, 2004 my
> sweetheart Caroline Letkeman roasted some brown rice in one of our
> frying pans on our electric range in our apartment at #1-45950
> Alexander Avenue, in Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada. I have also
> roasted rice in this manner so am familiar with the procedure that we
> both use.
> 4. Ms. Letkeman has told me that during her roasting of the rice on
> the occasion referred to above she did not observe the subject pan at
> all times, and that it was during one of the times when she was not
> observing the pan that the first miracle occurred that is described
> hereinafter. I have no reason to doubt Ms. Letkeman?s memory of this
> event, because there was no one in the apartment with us throughout
> any of the occurrences described herein, and both of us were doing
> different things at different times.
> 5. During one of the times when she was observing the subject pan, Ms.
> Letkeman said that she was seeing a shape, a face in the rice in the
> pan. I then also observed the pan and observed a face, and further
> observed that the face that had appeared in the roasting rice was the
> face of Xenu, the terrible and unmistakable tyrant of seventy-five
> million years ago.
Damn. Now that's really amazing...
Just the other day, I had a painful bout of constipation requiring the
use of of Fleet's enemas. Soon after experiencing an excruciating
bowel movement, I was horrified to find the face of Gerry Armstrong in
one of the grotesque-looking turds.
If it were not for the foul smell of the turd, I would not have been
convinced that this truly was a miracle.